


Oh, Sweetheart...

by calamityProphet



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Binge Drinking, Calamity writes, F/F, F/M, Gay, Gay ships, I Do Not Hook Up, I also suck at Summaries, I have no one to beta-read this, I suck at filler so be warned, I'm just ranting now, Just things happen differently, Kelly Clarkson - Freeform, LGBT+, M/M, Music, Okay I lied about what the AU is. They ARE in Starfleet, Roommates, Song - Freeform, Song Based, They all meet/met different ways, Yes it's an AU of an already-canon Alternate Universe, actually, also I'm debating first or third person, also tell me if you like how I tag things bc I try to be funny and interesting, and comment and ask, and dirty/adult humor, and have no real clue about what exactly will happen so idk what to do, and it takes place IN the academy, bc I suck at writing it, but I'm usually good when it comes to checking my spelling and grammar, but probably only Jim making a shit joke, but you'll find out, by Kelly Clarkson, bye bye, can almost guarantee there'll be kissing, idk about any actual smut, if you have any suggestions for a style or format I should write in, if you wanna do it, just tell me, make sure you have google drive, okay i'll shut up now, or bigoted of any kind gladly get the fuck out right now, or transphobic, otherwise it's not a true AO3 work, please, probably, probably strong language, should I shut up, so if you're homophobic, so thank her for this shit, song prompt, that's probably the extent of any drugs though, there has to be angst, there may be humor, there's a good chance of fluff but idk, unless mentioned via shitty humor, yep there's the strong language I mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calamityProphet/pseuds/calamityProphet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the song "I Do Not Hook Up" by Kelly Clarkson.</p><p>Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, things will be okay...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, I'll be by your side...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, what the fuck'd you do...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, we just can't do this...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, please don't go tonight...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, I swear I'll fix it...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, you broke your promise...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, please just let me help...<br/>Oh, sweetheart, maybe this is real...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Probably Just an Introduction or Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be honest... I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I'll probably butcher lines and put shame on myself and the entire fandom. However, I think one time (forever ago) someone said I was a good writer, so I'm gonna hope they're right (if it actually happened). I'm gonna apologize ahead of time for: character(s) being out of character, shitty writing, basic/overused vocabulary (I do try to use different words and look up good alternatives), never remembering to write this (much less actually update), an overuse of swear words (especially in notes), never writing smut because I'm bad at it and very awkward (but think of it as my gift to you and letting you imagine whatever you want), my entire existence being an asshole and trash, the fact that I'm starting this the day before I start school so I'll probably never have time, for writing this when I don't have a laptop and using my mom's instead which happens to be her work computer so I'll either never write or have to do it on my phone, and other shit I can't think of right now. But I do hope that you enjoy and that your comments will help me be a better and more motivated writer.

WARNING: THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL CHAPTER OF THE STORY! But please do read it if you care to know about the story and the author. I haven't written anything yet (well, as I'm typing this) and like to post the first chapter as an introduction/AN so my readers can get a heads up about the story and shit. Once again, I apologize for my language, I have a tendency to swear (sometimes like a motherfucking sailor). I may not write like other people, and part of it's just my style and work ethic. Others are word or grammar differences; for example (and like the only example I can think of), I very rarely- if ever- capitalize the word "god." Why? It's not me dissing god(s) or religion or anything, it's simply that I don't believe so I see no need to capitalize it in my works. I also have a tendency to make run-on sentences. I've gotten 49 words in two sentences before without trying. I know. This story/work may also appear on my Wattpad (it's ImJustAPoeBoy if anyone cares). I will also maybe be advertising on my tumblr (currently it's KKii2MIINEbiitche2 [yeah, I was in my homestuck phase at the time], but I may make a second account). There's a good chance I won't update or even get a chance to write for a while, seeing as school starts tomorrow and I'm a forgetful, lazy, procrastinating sack of pasta. I also will probably rant at times and over-explain any and everything. I will also do my best to try and reply to comments (if anyone actually leaves any). I don't really write as like a serious hobby or anything, but I'm thinking of taking it up. I say this because I may say I'm taking requests (for headcanons, blurbs based on headcanons, one-shots, etc.) later on. I legit even have handwriting headcanons for multiple fandoms. 

More about me just to fill up some space and make this chapter a little more worthwhile. My name is Sam. You can call me Sammy, Local Brendon Urie, Frank (as in Frank Iero), Spock, Calamity (that one is preferable if you want to mention my name in a comment), Clam, Clammy, fuckwad, asshole, piece of shit, or Trash. Those last ones may sound offensive to you, but I honestly won't be offended because they're all accurate. I love myself, but I /am/ self aware. Um... I have four cats: Fluffius (aka Fluffy, 10 human years old, male), Mousy (aka Hissball McGee or lil bitch, 4 human years old, female), Lionheart (aka Lion or asshole, he's either like almost one or one and a half I don't remember what fuckin' year we got him and his brother, male), and Whitestorm (aka White Boy or White Cat or White Baby or Toasted Marshmallow or MY BABY or My Child, same age as his brother [Lionheart], male). I sing (I'm an alto or counter-tenor), I play piano and viola, I know one song on the guitar (it's Good Riddance by Green Day), and I have a YouTube channel of shitty covers (it was also a half-gaming channel but that hasn't happened yet) and it's the same as my username on here. I'd tell you about my family, but I try to be safe on the internet (sorry, don't take it personally). I've seen all of The Original Series (twice), all of The Next Generation, I'm currently on season 2 of DS9, and I've seen all the reboot (AOS) movies. I need to start watching all the original movies (especially TMP bc I've heard it's very gay). I'll watch Enterprise and Voyager after I finish DS9. Idk what else to say. If you have a question or smth feel free to ask.

Well, I think I should stop here and start actually writing this probably-gonna-suck-ass story. I'll think of a way to end author's notes or notes later.

-Calamity

I needed 10 more words to make the count 666.


	2. Expect the Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, this chapter is just backstory to help you know stuff. The beginning also follows canon of the movie. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I will start writing the next chapter ASAP, so you shouldn't have to wait forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this is going to take place in a scene from Star Trek: 2009. Up until a certain point, it will all be basically the canon. However, I am using a script (not necessarily last draft) as reference, so some things may be off.
> 
> Okay, I know I said the AU was that none were in Starfleet but maybe I accidentally lied. They’re in Starfleet. But different things happen.

Dive bar. He sighed as his plans for the night crossed his mind again. He grabbed his keys and threw on a leather jacket before heading out the door. The cool breeze welcomed him as he sat down on his motorcycle and he turned the keys in the ignition. The sound the engine made as it roared to life was enough to brighten his mood. A small smile crept across his face before he pulled out and headed on down the road.

••••••

He pulled into the parking lot of a small place and hopped off his motorcycle. He walked through the door, slipping through the crowd until he reached the bar. He sat there, minding his own business until the silence— well, his personal silence, anyway— was broken.

“Hi. I’d like a Klabnian Fire Tea, two Cardassian Sunrises, and three Earth beers, no slim-shots, anything on draft.”

“That’s a lot of drinks for one woman.” He ignored the bartender and turned to the girl and gave her a grin, his first move. In return, she shot him a look before turning back to the bartender.

“And a shot of Jack, straight up.” She added.

He glanced to the bartender. “Make it two— her shot’s on me.”

“Her shot’s on her. Thanks but no thanks.”

“Don’t you want my name before you completely reject me?” There he went again, his ego scratched and his mental filter turned off.

“I’m good without it.” He couldn’t help himself. He always liked the tough, independent type.

“You are good without it. It’s Jim. Jim Kirk.” He paused and awaited her reply, but never got one. Deciding to try again, he continued. “If you don’t tell me your name, I’m gonna have to make one up.”

The girl took a second to reply. “Uhura.”

“Uhura? No way—” He smiled as he looked back at her, “that’s the name I was gonna make up for you. Uhura what?”

“Just Uhura.” Damn. She was going to be tough to crack.

“They don’t have last names in your world?” He prompted, intent on getting an answer.

“Uhura is my last name.”

“They don’t have first names in your world? Wait, let me guess. Is it ‘Jim’?” Oh, good, a smile. He was getting somewhere. He scooted a little closer to Uhura before he started again. “So you’re a cadet or college student. Studying. What’s your focus?”

“Xenolinguistics. Lemme guess: you don’t know what that means.” She replied.

“Let me guess: study of Alien languages: phonology, morphology, syntax— it means you’ve got a talented tongue.” He smirked at her.

“And for a moment I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.” Ouch.

“Well. Not only.” He put on a smile, hiding his bruised pride.

“You think you’re smart.”

“Oh, baby, I’m the smartest.” Alright, that wasn’t his best line. He didn’t have time to worry about it when a burly guy showed up between the two.

“This guy bothering you?” The guy asked Uhura.

“Beyond belief, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“You could handle me. That’s an invitation.” He interjected, against his better judgement. He was spun around by the stranger.

“Hey. Mind your manners.”

He scoffed. “Relax, cupcake, it was a joke.”

A few strangers, probably friends to the man, started to approach them and Uhura turned to him. “Hey, Jim— enough.”

“What was that?” Cupcake asked, obviously not amused.

“You heard me, Moon Beam.”

“You know how to count, farm boy? There’s five of us... And one of you.”

“Okay, so get a couple more guys, come back and it’ll be an even fight.” And that’s where he fucked up. The man swung at him and he headbutted, probably breaking it. The first of his friends got a hit in before throwing him into a table. He flew across and landed hard, but was yanked up by yet another friend. Kirk managed to slam a good five punches, getting the man away. A different guy punched him while still a different one held him while he got beat. 

“Enough! Stop!” Uhura shouted. No one listened. Another punch and Kirk flew to the floor, refusing to surrender. They unleashed their anger and kept going. Kirk had spirit, but he couldn’t win. The men, apparently Starfleet Cadets, stopped when a painfully high-pitched whistle cut through the room. Everything stopped. A tall Starfleet Officer stood at the door.

“Outside, all of you! Now!” Everyone cleared the bar, but he stayed behind. He approached Kirk— who was now dazed and lying on top of a table upside-down— and asked, “Y’alright, son?”

“You can... Whistle really loud, y’know that?” And he promptly passed out.

••••••

By the time he had woken up, the bar was almost closed and it was still just him and Pike. He sat there, drink in hand, bloodied face and tissues, and listened. Listened to Pike rant on. ‘Don’t waste your life. You can’t be your dad but you can’t waste the talent you have. Join Starfleet.’ That’s about all he picked up. 

“If you’re half the man your father was, Jim, Starfleet could use you. You could be an officer in four years, have your own ship in eight.” Pike continued.

Kirk grabbed his jacket and stood up. He wanted to get out of there, Pike was getting to him. Would he let him know? Not in a million years. “We’re even, right? I can go.”

“Riverside shipyard. Shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow, 0800.” Kirk turned to leave, but Pike stopped him. “Your father was Captain of a Starship for twelve minutes and saved over 800 lives. I dare you to do better.” He locked eyes with Kirk before standing up and walking out, leaving Kirk alone to think. Four years, huh? I’ll do it in three.

••••••

Of course he got on that shuttle. He had to. Even if it was just to successfully complete Pike’s dare. He’d been thrown off along with all the other new recruits— which happened to include Uhura and a man he got acquainted with on the ride— about four months ago. Schedules and all the classics had been done. He’d gotten lucky with the room assignment. The guy he’d gotten acquainted with? His roommate. Oh, and his name was Leonard McCoy. But Kirk had already decided to call him Bones. However, his classes weren’t necessarily going so well. It wasn’t that he didn’t try, he just didn’t necessarily get off on the right foot with all his teachers. And then there was Winter break. Sneaking up fast, meaning he’d probably have to go home. Not the place he wanted to be.

“What’s the problem now, Jim?” Bones asked as he entered their room, taking off his jacket before sitting across the couch from him.

“Nothing big, Bones. Just a class that I can never quite get the hang of.” It was only half a lie. The class did bother him, but the entire emotional cause was in no way small.

“Which one?”

He paused, trying to decide whether he should lie or be honest. “Interspecies Ethics.” He sighed.

“You mean it’s a teacher that’s uptight and downright annoying?” Bones snapped, obviously holding a slight grudge.

“Yeah.”

“That pointy-eared bastard.” Bones was apparently very angry. Why, Kirk didn’t know.

“Damn, why are you so upset?” He questioned.

“Everything about the man.”

“You’re so specific, Bones.” He decided to change to topic to avoid being lectured on 101 Things Wrong with Professor Spock. Kirk paused as he thought of a new topic. “So what are you doing over break?” By that he meant, please tell me you have no plans so I don’t have to go home or spend it here alone. 

The man sighed. “Well, I’m goin’ home to Georgia, stay with my folks. Maybe get to see my little girl.” His expression changed from resentful to depressingly realistic.

Well, fuck me, then. “That’s nice.” Kirk glanced down.

“Well, what were you planning?” He asked, clearly having noticed Jim’s mood change.

“That’s the thing. Nothing.”

“Oh.” He put a hand on Jim’s shoulder reassuringly and offered, “You can always come with me if you want to.”

“No. Thanks, but I’ll be fine, you go see your daughter.” He worked up a half smile in an attempt to prove he was okay.

“You sure, kid?”

“Yeah, Bones,” he took a deep breath, “I’m good. So when do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning, 0700.”

“That’s... Really fucking early.” He chuckled and looked back at Bones. “I’ll be there though. Make sure you don’t wimp out of flying again.” He smiled, earning a scowl from Bones.

“Dammit, Jim, I’m a grown man, not a child!”

“You didn’t seem like one last time.”

“Yeah, you are be fine.” He stood up from the couch. “I’m gonna go pack.” He said before walking off. Jim waited to hear Bones’ door shut behind him. He got up off the couch, and walked toward the small kitchen. Well, it’s less of a kitchen and more just a replicator and a mini-fridge in a corner of the room that has tile instead of carpet. He opened the mini fridge and grabbed a beer— yes, they had real beer because he and Bones had some standards— and poured it into a travel mug. He picked up the travel mug and went back to the couch where he’d left his bag. He grabbed a textbook and notebook and left the dorm.

••••••

The library was empty and dimly lit, most of the light coming from one lamp in his area. The windows let pale moonlight in as if nature was trying to help you see even though it’s dark. Yet Jim still sat there, the travel mug full... For the third time... Or was it fourth? Didn’t matter. He’d stopped studying at least an hour ago. Oddly enough, the library never actually closed so students could cram and study any time, so they couldn’t kick him out. After all, he had a textbook and was studying. What the boy wasn’t expecting, however, was someone else to come in the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter was uploaded on my phone and idk how to do all the fancy shit like italics and bold and center-alignment on mobile OR desktop yet, so pardon all the weird things.


End file.
